[One of our goals at the Royally Relational Institute is to share the stories of women…even women who gravitate to the back, rather than the front of the room. In this vain, here is an installation from our written collection of work, Crescendo.]

I recently hosted a play date at my home. I planned this gathering for one of my children. The goal was to foster connections with friends outside of other scheduled activities. Picture several preteens doing all manner of things. They were all very respectful so I had no issues with insolence or questionable conduct. But preteens,…need I say more?

Surprisingly, the afternoon we envisioned during our planning process is not what transpired 😱. It was a great experience for our family but it was a bit outside of our expectations. After the gathering I engaged in some reflection. Here are three points which resonated with me.

1. Everyone is unique. We each have a specific sets of skills and talents which define us and set us apart from others. Even if you share a similar skill set as another person how you expresses and utilize that skill will differ.

2. Our experiences will influence our expectations. What I expected was based on my experience with my child. These expectations were not what these children presented.

3. It is important to remember who and whose you are. It is so easy to get caught up in what others are doing or to get wrapped up in the identity of the world. It is important to maintain your God given identity regardless of your circumstances or experiences.

So how do we reconcile our uniqueness and lived experiences in light of God’s plan for our lives? How does our story unfold in light of God’s story. Here are a few points to consider.

Who are you? 

This is a very important question. The answer to this question is life altering for a Christian believer. The answer to this  question moves the believer into their God ordained destiny. God calls us His very own possession. We are His, created by Him for Him.

But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 NLT

God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world. 1 Corinthians 7:23 NLT

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalms 139:14 KJV

What are you called to do? 

What specifically is the calling, the role, the God given assignment, placed on your life? This is not necessarily your job or your career. Whether we function as a stay at home mom, an Elementary school teacher, doctor, custodian, or Museum curator, we each have a primary function in the body of Christ.

Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church: first are apostles, second are prophets, third are teachers, then those who do miracles, those who have the gift of healing, those who can help others, those who have the gift of leadership, those who speak in unknown languages. Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not! 1 Corinthians 12:28-30 NLT

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 NLT

Where do you do it?

Where has God called you to serve? This question can foster great anxiety for some. We want to know. We are eager to serve God. We forge plans, weigh our options, seek counsel, and set out on a course. While planning is profitable it is more important to ensure you are following the right path.

In determining where you are called to serve remember to make your plans and leave room for the Holy Spirit to work. Allow God to determine your path. He will lead you where He needs you to go.

We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer. Proverbs 16:1 NLT

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3 NLT

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9 NLT

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 NLT

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall. Proverbs 16:33 NLT

When do you do it? 

Timing is extremely important. What season are you in currently? Where is God leading you? What has God asked of you?

Solomon reminded us that there are seasons in life. And each season demands a different response. Esther’s caregiver Mordecai drew her attention to an important season in her life. Joseph with full confidence told his brothers that he was sent ahead to save their families in this season. Each of these Biblical characters recognized the importance of timing,…God’s timing in their individual lives.

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT

If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this? Esther 4:14 NLT

God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors. So it was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh—the manager of his entire palace and the governor of all Egypt. Genesis 45:7-8 NLT

How do you do it?

What does your process look like? Whatever you are called to do remember God is the one who called you. You are not in charge, He is. So allow Him to work in and through you. Plan to allow God to interrupt your plans. Your current season may not be your place of fullness but it is part of the process. So embrace where you are and work diligently.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for peopleColossians‬ ‭3:23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct. Galatians‬ ‭6:4-5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Whatever you do, do well. For when you go to the grave, there will be no work or planning or knowledge or wisdom. Ecclesiastes‬ ‭9:10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Accept Godly Assurance/Inheritance 

God will equip you to do the work. You are equipped to do some work today.

And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. Ecclesiastes 3:14 NLT

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 NLT

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 NLT



Stronger Together

[One of our goals at the Royally Relational Institute is to share the stories of women…even women who gravitate to the back, rather than the front of the room. In this vain, here is an installation from our written collection of work, Crescendo.]

(The following is a compilation of stories from several sisters. I pray it will bless your heart and work to renew your mind). 

We laughed for several minutes, catching up on what seemed like a decade of lived experiences. A few years ago we worked closely together. We led a weekly women’s Bible Study Group.

We reminisced about our previous work together and talked about current projects. As we shared about our families she stopped abruptly. There was a visible change in her demeanor. She looked at me intensely – as if she were looking directly into my innermost parts. “Can I tell you something?”, she asked. “Sure”, I said, with a slight smile on my face. She paused, took a deep breath and said: 

I know I’m smiling and it seems like I have it all put together. But the truth is when I get into my car, when I close my front door, when I put my children to bed, I melt like chocolate…and not in a good way. I melt like chocolate that is mistakenly left in my pocket which is warmed by the heat from my body. It’s a mess to clean up.

In that moment it’s seemed like the vast majority of my blood flow rushed to my heart. We embraced, mourned together, and opened ourselves to the Holy Spirit. I scarcely can remember the intricate details of our conversation. What I can remember was experiencing a sense of deeper connection. 

It’s not what I expected but it was her raw self. And I so appreciated that she felt comfortable to entrust me with her story. She was still my friend in the absence of the makeup, spiffy hairstyle, and fancy clothing. I still needed to accept and be there for her, to journey with her in the presence, and in this case, in the absence of the aforementioned outward embellishments. This was a heart moment…a moment for deeper connection…a moment to truly exemplify the Christ I professed to follow. 

We talked for another hour then went our separate ways. I left changed and I hoped she was also. This was a life changing experience such that I pondered and prayed about it for days to come. There was little worry in my prayers. But there was an urgency and a calling to do more. That calling materialized to move beyond surface interactions with this friend and several others. That calling which began with conviction and repentance, moved to a need to promote and cultivate genuine, intentional connection. 

Today my sisters I offer you a challenge. As you read this story, I hope your heart is stirred to seek genuine, intentional connections. I challenge you to allow the Holy Spirit to work in and through you. You will be surprised how God can use you mightily. It really does not require executive trainings, educational degrees, or a certain position within your sphere of influence. It really is quite simple. 

Consider these words from some co-laborers.

On the days where Apple Turnovers suffice for breakfast, potato chips for lunch, and maybe cereal for dinner…On the days where toys are littered on the living room floor and my children fall asleep without baths…On the days where the dog has yet another accident, I need you. On the days where it’s immensely difficult to get out of bed and face another day, I need you. On the days where my husband is “traveling” again or commissioned to serve in a far away land, I need you. On the days where the idea of walking away, or getting a divorce seems sooo much easier than working through another passionate discussion, I need you. 

I really appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement AND…maybe you can do more than offer kind words or say you are praying for me. Maybe you can bring me dinner unexpectedly or extend an invitation for coffee at your home. Maybe you can take my children on a play date or to youth group so I can sit in silence, take a shower, go to the grocery store, or go to the nail salon to unwind for an hour. Maybe you can assist me with my energetic toddler so I can listen to the sermon uninterrupted this week. Maybe you can allow the Holy Spirit to utilize the gift He has placed inside of you. Maybe you can see me and suspend judgment, showering me with love, almost like Christ Jesus would. 

The thing is, while I’ll need you today, you will need me tomorrow. The thing is, we are so much stronger when we support each other, when we work together. The thing is, God placed you here to be His hands for me today and me to be His feet for you another day. So don’t be afraid. Maybe suspend one item from your busy schedule to enquire about my wellbeing and linger for a genuine response. It will mean the world to me. It will lift so much off of my shoulders, even if it is a temporary reprieve. But just to know that someone sees me, someone is concerned about me, someone cares about my wellbeing, really will do wonders. No, I’m not expecting you to be my everything. But I’m just hoping for a Sister and maybe even a friend. 

Sisters let us support each other. Let us walk together. Let us talk with each other. We are so much better, so much stronger, together. I pray you will reach out, reach up, reach down, or reach across, to a sweet sister today.


“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

Matthew 25:34-40 NLT

I love you Sister! ❤️



Reneé loves to listen to, document, and share individual life stories. She is also very passionate about journeying with couples and individuals to relational wellness. Intercessory prayer is an integral part of her work. She enjoys teaching, speaking, counseling, coaching, mentoring, conducting research, and writing.

You can learn more about Reneé’s work here.